Gracefulness is important to me. I love to feel graceful, be seen as graceful, move through our days together with grace. Handle the difficult things in life gracefully. But this is where I want to be clear. I am not asking that my engagement with my own particular demons be clean. That I stay fully functional and productive while in the midst of it. I am not asking that it be without mess, that it have dignity, that it display only admirable qualities, or even that it be without ugliness or pain. I can be in pain. It is part of